SO. You’ve found me. I bet you’re wondering why I’ve gathered you here toda– Just kidding.
You probably are wondering why I have a site dedicated to me faffing about discussing things that don’t matter much “in real life” like fandom and stuff.
Escapism is all I have right now. That’s the reason.
I have willingly given up most of what have been and will probably be years of my life to taking care of my mamaw as she declines to Alzheimer’s.
I have a paying job that has me work 13.5 hours a week, and the rest of my time is taking care of mamaw and the mobile home park owned within the family to earn my place to live and eat. I leave the house for groceries and doctors appointments and try to make time out of the house as sparse and short as possible. I have a few people I’m friendly with in the area, namely one person outside of the park and most everyone else being associated with work or the park.
I wake up in the night frequently, I don’t have a social life off the internet, all my hobbies have to be done as close to mamaw as possible and a lot of this has manifested into some serious hypervigilance and leaning into poor coping mechanisms.
Not to mention the world is going to shit outside of my tunnel.
Escapism is probably the least of my problems. Being able to enjoy anime and silly fiction is a good distraction from feeling like there’s nothing left. It’s not a perfect release from stress– censorship is on the rise as the hemline index gets more concerning, commodifying fandom has ramped up harassment to an extreme, and I experienced a fandom-based social trauma within the past few years.
But it’s better than always fixating on the real world and crumbling under political and personal pressure.
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